Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
