hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
