If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
