Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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