Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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