In the future we'll all be gay
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
