My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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