I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
