Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
