btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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