If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize