therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
