how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
