Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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