Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I lost the right to judge tonight
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
