I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
