If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
my poor anus
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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