Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize