The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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