Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
