You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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