You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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