i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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