I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
