I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
