1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize