The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
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