is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
