Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
