There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I need moral support for this bender
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize