woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
