I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
