This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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