What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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