And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
4 words: hood of his car
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
