no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
