dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
