dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
