Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
