thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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