i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
