Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
