Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
