Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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