i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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