Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize