I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
