wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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