There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
