I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
