the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
They took my balls.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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