There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
