There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
