I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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