Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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