It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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