I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
i've created a new STD.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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