I'm so fucking centered right now
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
