well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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