If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
smell my finger.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
