Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
