I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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