Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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