it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
