I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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